Mentor Moment #2: You don’t have to be a Prick -Ly person, to become a leader

I see it way too often, particularly in young managers who never had a mentor; they think you have to be a Prick -ly person to get ahead in this world. Somewhere along the way they learned you have to be nasty and intimidating to win..

I am embarrassed to admit I too went through this phase. I am not sure if it was my wrong perception of what leadership was or a low emotional intelligence at the time, but I was a difficult person to work for when I was in my late 20’s. I felt the end justified the means, and the most expedient way to tackle the goals before me was to focus on execution with little if any regard or appreciation for the relationship with those I was working with. This is a very lonely way to live, and I am thankful to Jim, who one day pulled me aside and said “you need to change, I love the results and the growth, but my company can no longer tolerate the way you achieve them.” He rocked my world that day.

So I set out to learn how to lead people. I studied great leaders, read books, attended seminars and I hired a coach to hold me accountable. What I found was great leaders all had three things they demonstrated. They were;

Firm

Fair

Consistent

They gave equal weight to the relationship with others and the execution of objectives

My quest to learn about how to serve teams instead of drive them led me to becoming a Christian. I had tried everything else, but only giving myself to Jesus gave me the new heart I so desperately looking for .Over the years the Lord has given me a new heart, and has taught me many principles I use in my work each day like;

“Hate the sin, but love the sinner”

Now, when I bump into people who feel they gain power by pushing others down versus lifting them up, I feel sorry for them, and pray for them. For I know that lonely feeling when you are driving home, or on an airplane, regretting how you just treated someone. I wrote in my post:The leadership “Quiver” for driving change “When you use the discipline arrow it takes the least amount of skill. This is the only arrow that also pains me upon release as it means I failed to find the “why” behind someone is not getting on board with changes.” I also found the quote: “be careful how you treat those on the way up as those are the same folks you will see on the way down” to be very true.

Do you work for a Prick -ly person?

Are you a Prick -ly person?

How’s that working for you? Your team? …really?

If you worked with or for me in those days, I have tried to find all of you and apologize. I also ask your forgiveness in my use of “ Prick -ly” as it is my goal this is read by those who may be struggling working with someone as well as hopefully found by those who have the wrong understanding of leadership.